Redefining the bases

Kari: While I'm giving some amazing dating advice, I have an innovative contemporary take on this stupid analogy. Some things, such as walkman's and audio cassettes, will never become outdated to me, but the relationship 'base' system needs some work. First of all, I hate this analogy because it means you have to have some knowledge of baseball.

But I'd like to start out with the ultimate goal ... home base, which clearly is the afterglow enjoyment happiness time. 4 bases is not nearly enough so I added a couple extra bases.

-Base 0.5 is heavy petting.

-1st base is just kissing.

-Base 1.5 is all manual

-2nd base is when the understanding begins that something is about to happen.

-Base 2.5 is oral sex.

-3rd base would be sex.

-The most important of all bases, however is base 3.5 when you go to the bathroom so you don't get a UTI.

-Then of course you go back for the afterglow enjoyment happiness time.

So even though I don't really understand sports, I hope this system clears some things up for you. And remember ALWAYS protect yourself!!